At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
