I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
