If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize