my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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