She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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