We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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