Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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