Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
