So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
