she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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