Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
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I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
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how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize