If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
