I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
