Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
this hospital has no fireball
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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