So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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