I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
