I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
