i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
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I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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