Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
