i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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