there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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