glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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