they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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