I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
