In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
