Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
