My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it's great music for shaving your balls
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
