You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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