i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
