you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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