It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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