I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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