help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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