Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
