Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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