There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just invented taco cereal.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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