oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
