playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
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