Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
