a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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