just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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