"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
