giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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