dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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