Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize