Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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