Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Im part way to drunk.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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