If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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