I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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