just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
false alarm, still single
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
