when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
