Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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