i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
