if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
