So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
