you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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