Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she peed on how many people?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
