What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
