Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
